Everything you need to learn about overcoming difficulties of alone pregnancy. We hope that our advice and tips will help you.
Three months after Lydia Collier and her husband moved from California to Arlington, Va., they found out they were expecting their first child. With family and friends thousands of miles away, the Colliers soon realized how isolating a pregnancy could be.
“Not only was I in a strange place, but I was the first of my friends to be married and having children. It was a bit scary,” Collier says.
Why shouldn’t it be? Experiencing morning sickness, seeing ultrasounds and feeling the baby’s kicks are all things that deserve to be shared. And according to relationship expert Crystal E., “Going it alone is never advisable. We were not meant to produce children in isolation, but in community.”
If miles or circumstances have put distance between you and the community of people you know and love, following this advice can help you get the support you need and pump some fun back into your pregnancy.
To learn about morning sickness during pregnancy : Overcoming Morning Sickness
You should see our other articles and categories to learn the things you wonder.
Lean On Me
When you are missing the friends and family you have always depended on, it’s only normal to wish they were around to share in this miracle of life. But, in the words of Vickie Perez, of Springfield, Ill., “Rely on what you have available instead of thinking about what you do not have.”
While you might not think he has it in him, your spouse just might surprise you with his ability to fill at least some of your girlfriends’ shoes.
“My husband was wonderful!” Collier says. “He paid attention to my needs and picked up the slack around the house when I was tired. He also came to all the doctor’s appointments.” ( alone pregnancy)
Expected husband stuff, sure. But besides the practical stuff, like taking over housework and going to the doctor’s office, some women find their husbands going above and beyond the call of duty.
“When I was on bed rest, unable to do much and feeling pretty depressed one night, my husband painted my toenails for me,” says Deborah Manning, of Eskilstuna, Sweden. “It was such a small thing but it gave me so much pleasure both to look at them peeking back at me from the bottom of the bed, and also to know that he cared enough to do something like that.”
And Manning’s husband didn’t stop there. “He read all the pregnancy books lying around so he understood what was happening when I needed to talk about things, even ‘women’s’ things!” she says.
Manning’s husband also helped her in and out of the bathtub and gave her foot and body massages. When you think about it, many women can’t find even one friend that’s willing to go through such displays of support. ( alone pregnancy )
If you can’t imagine your husband being so gracious, why not give him the chance to prove you wrong. Remember, it never hurts to ask.
What about your ideas? Please share your thoughts with us in the comments section.
No matter how much you love your husband, and no matter how hard he tries, there will be times when you need to share your experiences with someone else. Here’s where you give yourself permission to call home as often as you need it, and then prepare yourself and your husband for the additional monthly expense.
“I ran up phone bills of over $100 calling home,” says Belinda Kelley, of Ontario, Canada. If the bills become too much to handle, you can always alternate the calls with letters or e-mails. That way, you can include a few photos of your changing body.
After a while, you might find that a trip home is what you really need. Keep in mind that travel during the first and second trimesters is considerably safer and more comfortable than travel during those last few weeks. Before you venture off on long-distance visits, confirm your plans with your doctor or midwife. And if you don’t feel like traveling, why not suggest that your family and friends come to you? ( alone pregnancy)
Also, check our another article about stress during pregnancy : Managing Stress During Pregnancy
“If a woman is alone and new in town, she needs to seek a new ‘tribe’,” Crystal says. “That means looking for a church, woman’s group, prenatal group and so on that can lead to friendship and support.”
Where do you find these places? First off, check with your doctor or midwife about pregnancy support groups. Then, become an information hound, keeping your eyes peeled for newspaper blurbs and your ears open for pertinent conversations.
Our articles are prepared to give advice. Always consult your doctor first for any problems and exact information.
The names of the people mentioned in the article have been changed for security reasons and to protect privacy.