We are aware that there are some difficulties in life for pregnant mothers. So we would recommend love breaks for pregnant moms.
Marta Beck, a certified doula, recommends pregnant women take what she calls “love breaks” with their unborn children.
Beck of Vancouver, Canada, the mother of Timmy, 2, and Elsa, 4, says moms-to-be are often the center of attention, which is nice but can also distract them from taking time to be alone and connect with their babies. “Women, when they are pregnant, suddenly find their bodies are public property and everybody has a comment or belief about what they should be doing with their time or their bodies,” says Beck, who owns a birth support club, which provides prenatal classes and doula care. “In terms of alone time, the work I do really focuses on the emotional work women need to do during pregnancy to get ready for birth and parenting.”
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During a love break, pregnant women may sit back and take time to listen to their babies. “Put your hands on your belly, tell them you love them and talk to them about your fears, concerns, worries and hopes for them,” says Beck. “Research is clear they babies hear our voices and respond to our emotions. Allow the time each day to recognize you are pregnant and there is a beautiful baby growing inside of you, and celebrate that on some level beyond all the hubbub around you.”
Instead of getting caught up in information overload and trying to make sure they attend the right classes or read the right books, pregnant women may focus instead on what they need to do in their lives to welcome the baby.
Also, alone time is important because women need to let go of their strong desire to control the birth instead of just being in the experience, says Beck. “I think alone time is vital for them having the space to find that time to look inside and think about what they need to do to give birth to this baby and become a mom,” she says.
Beck says some of her clients have found it helpful to go away on their own for weekend retreats. If you can’t get away for more than a few hours, try taking a walk in the woods, she suggests. “I had one mom who went camping on her own for a week in the wilderness,” she says. “The moms I have worked with who have given themselves the gift of going off on a retreat somewhere have really thrived.”
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Some women find alone time by closing the bedroom door or retreating to the bathroom for a bubble bath. “I like to recommend women take special time to be with their babies, a love break or time to connect,” says Beck. “We get so busy and sometimes we forget to connect with the baby who is growing inside of us. If you have a partner, when they come home from work, find a time to grab 10 minutes alone for yourself.”
Also, check our another article about getting support while raising twins : Getting the Support You Need to Raise Twins
Becoming a Mother
Dr. Glade Curtis of Salt Lake City, Utah, author of Your Pregnancy Week by Week, says pregnant women need to plan for time alone and find a place to reflect on the changes that occur during pregnancy. Don’t wait for someone else to make the plans or find a place for solo time, says Dr. Curtis, the father of five.
“I think being pregnant is an incredible experience, and giving birth is one of those things only so many people get to do and only do it so many times,” Dr. Curtis says. “It’s an incredible time. I think you need time for yourself so you can recognize that and so you can enjoy it and really participate in the whole experience. It comes and goes rather quickly once you are through having kids.”
Becoming a mother is an overwhelming concept to most women, especially women who have been used to having a career or free time, says Dr. Curtis. It may take time to accept the fact you will not have as much free time after the baby is born. (Love Breaks for Pregnant Moms)
“Particularly in cases where people have had a career or are involved in athletics, having a baby changes that part of their lives,” Dr. Curtis says. “It’s good to have time to figure out how you are going to work it out. I think it’s really important to understand how it changes your relationship with your partner in many different regards: the income coming into the home, time spent, jealousy from partner toward baby. It changes your sexual relations as well.”
Find a Place to Hide
Dr. Curtis suggests finding ways to relieve stress while being alone. Unless you spend all day in the bathtub, it’s not always easy to find a place to be by yourself. “For each woman, it’s going to be a different place where they find time to themselves,” Dr. Curtis says. “For a lot of people that is with exercise. When you are out walking or on a stationary bike at the gym or in your home, you can get rid of the telephone and beepers and all kinds of interruptions. For a lot of people it’s a great time to think and reflect on what is going on in your life.”
Dr. Curtis says it’s important to have time alone to relax, plan and alleviate stress. “I think stress plays a part in our health whether we are pregnant or not,” he says. “I have said on many occasions to a pregnant woman who came in … ‘Just get rid of all the stress in your life and things would be easier.’ I think stress is a major factor in our health and in pregnancy. The relationships with your partner, family, friends – they are stressed during a pregnancy.”
In addition to bonding with your baby by talking or playing music, keep a journal or record of your feelings and what is going on in your life and the world. “By keeping a journal and writing down things, it really helps you sort out your thoughts and enjoy where you are and appreciate where you are,” Dr. Curtis says.
You can learn about pregnancy stages and get week by week pregnancy information in our website.
Cathy M., a La Leche League worker and mother of two from Sicklerville, N.J., says she had little alone time when she was pregnant with her first son because she was a teacher at the time. “Being a mom, you tend to have a lot of alone time whether you want it or not,” says Iovino. “Your husband returns back to work and after the excitement of the baby’s first coming, moms tend to have a lot of alone time unless they have other children. When you have other children it’s really not possible to be alone.”
Cathy says her sister-in-law, who is pregnant for the first time with triplets, has felt stressed by the overwhelming attention she gets. “I think you need time to process,” Cathy says. “You need time to think. Pregnant women in general spend a lot of time in their own head even when they are around people. Even when you are in the vicinity of other people, your spouse or your children, you are still thinking about yourself and thinking about the baby and your hopes and dreams for that unborn child.”
To learn how to prepare for twins : Preparing for Twins Practical Advice Every Parent Should Know
Finally, communicate to the people around you that you appreciate the attention but also need time alone. Then, when you find the time and place every day for a mini-retreat, remember you are not really alone. You have time to get to know the baby inside of you who keeps you company every day during your pregnancy. ( Love Breaks for Pregnant Moms )
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The names of the people mentioned in the article have been changed for security reasons and to protect privacy.
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